Torn apat again

I've torn apart before and I'm torn apart now.
My mum was telling stories about my religion, Islam and the little little things we can and cannot do in Islam. The more she went on, the more I keep thinking of you and me. I feel I can't go on like this because you're asking me something that I can't bear to do. It would break my parents heart and it would cost me dearly. It would give me a huge sin that I don't know how to ask for forgiveness from both my parents and the One up there.

Obviously, I am torn apart between religion and love. It's cause we're so different that's why its so complicated and so confusing to explain. I am brought in a conservative way and you're free to do whatever you want or desire. I can't fulfill you're desire cause I realize its against my religion. Yeah I know I'm not that pious but after what my mum told me, I realize what a sin I'm committing. My mum didn't intentionally brought up the topic on religion, we were talking about her students and how she gave little talks on religion cause they do not know anything about Islam even though they are Muslims. I feel so at lost right now. I can't bear losing you but I also can't bear the shame, disappointment from my parents and the huge sin if committed.