I'm a coward

I feel like a coward, a bitch and that sucks. I wanna tell you things that is a pressing issue for me but every time when the chance come, I let it pass. Why? Because whenever we are together you are so happy, delighted and excited to be with me and that makes it hard for me to bring up the issue I wanna tell you.

Even if I came round to tell ya, you wouldn't understand. Even if I tried to explain to ya, you wouldn't get it and you will always find your way around to reassure me and make things ok. But what's been bothering me is not Ok, if you don't understand my religion or even respect me.

Also on the other hand, I am afraid to let this worry out cause, I am afraid you would leave me. You can't leave. We just got together and I can't suffer another heartache. It's too painful. If it happens, I'm going to deprive myself of a relationship and dating guys. Just when I thought everything were going fine, it goes the other way round. I can't fulfill you desire while I take the fall of bringing down my family's name. Even though one day you would be a loved one, you're still not a loved one now and I gotta sacrifice you but I'm scared to do it and I'm even scared to tell you. See I'm like posting it on my bloody fucking blog. Like what the hell is this? ==

It's getting pathetic but at least I feel that it helps me prepare