Can I die??

Yes I ask myself that all the freaking time. I don't know what has gotten into me. yes, maybe I'm turning into those emotional people that cry all time/cut their freaking wrist. OK, i won't cut myself cos i have fears holding a penknife. REALLY. I get scared by just looking at it. Furthermore, I know the pain is going to hurt, so I won't EVER cut myself. So far, I'm hanging in there, trying and always trying to find my way(:

Today, I went out with my best friend to borrow some library books. Since it's the holidays, we get to borrow twice the amount of books, so now 8 books(: So yeah, my mind was totally not trying too hard to ya know....

Like someone said, if this happens, let it happen. But then again, at the back of my mind, it would always be telling me that, it's not so easy as you think. Easier said than done, yep. That's what my brain keeps telling my heart, and now, my heart doesn't know what to do. Should I follow my pinkish organ, that gives me the ability to be able to think and get smart? Or should I listen to the reddish fist size organ that beats all the time to give me life and never stopping??
Which one?

Should the heart tell the brain to stop thinking and worrying so much and just freaking move one???? OR Should the brain tell the heart to let go? Cos if we're meant to be than fate and destiny will work it's magic. I don't know man. I wish I was an eagle. Why you ask? Because at some time, when I look up into the blue sky when I'm by the balcony or looking out in the car's window or just looking up into the sky in my room, and when I'm lucky, I would see and eagle.
It's a rare sight I say and eagles can soar in the sky without flapping their wings too much? Like the sparrows and pigeons. Eagles are free birds. I want to be free like them. They don't need to care of love, school, feelings, emotions, family and other things that I do. All they need to do is to survive, that's all.

*I wanna fly and be free from my responsibilities.