river of tears

when read back our conversations i saved and as we progressed through the years, i realize my love for you deepened. Honestly, some times I'm scared to say how much I love you cos I'm afraid of what you might think. You might think that Im insane or something, i dont know. I mean there was once I told you, I need you. But in the end you snapped back asking me what do I need you for? I didnt dare to say anything cos you were so piss at me but isnt it obvious? You're my boyfriend then, i dont know about now. I need you to be a boyfriend, my boyfriend. When you asked me that, you broke my heart but i didnt wanna say it cos i've broken your heart far worst than you've broke mine. Another one, when I told you, I wanna be with you forever. I was so sure about my decision but you doubted me and asked me am I sure? Its like as if you dont want me to be with you :( it sucks thinking like that.

And now, you're gone from my life. I feel like it. I miss you but then again, you're not there. Who am I to blame? I got no one to blame but myself. How can I not blame myself because it's true, I've hurt and that drove you away, in turn i shattered my own heart. I know you say that you're busy with school, preparing college but i guess at the same time, its a good way to be away from me too. So you wouldnt feel burdened from me. I dont know what to think cos if i think of this, you will tell me otherwise. I dont know, I dont know! This sucks so bad. I know you wouldn't be thinking about me anymore, you're too busy with school and making sure you have time for your friends. Im nothing anymore, im not your girlfriend anymore :(