bothered

im so annoyed and pissed but whenever i get the chance to tell you how i feel, i retreat cos you always come up with a pretty good reason and thus i cant really say what i feel cos i'll feel so bad, i think whatever that gonna come out of my mouth will be so harsh and sharp that it will hurt you :(
im always thinking of what you feel, how you gonna react and wht will be the consequence if i do this. so thats why sometimes i hold back or not say a thing. just keep my mouth shut and thats it but now i cant. its eating me up and it feels horrible. i hate it, i feel so disturbed and uneasy. SOOO UNEASY that its bothering sssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooo much!